Meditative Vignettes

It was a Monday morning, yet Tina got up with a palpable sense of excitement. Yes, another exhilarating week ahead!
Hardly can she now recollect a day she was cheerless thinking of going to work. Well, not that she did not have dull days at all….

Marcus Buckingham* is right – people work for their managers; not companies or for themselves! When she read it, she wanted to disagree; but those gloomy days whooshed in front of her, like a film roll.
Work, boss, pressure, stress, silence, violence…

MUTE.
Silence.
She turned the imaginary knob; lightened the colour and brightness – yes, now it is black and white!
Silent dumb figures acted nonsensically!

She chuckled… No one heard!
Well, it works – who said that the recurring past cannot be controlled? She tried to paste the scene on to a fantasy Microsoft Paint window.
Erase… erase…
At least one scene is erased.
She felt stronger having accomplished something like that on a Monday morning!
Great!

M.S. Subbulakshmi** sang in the background. She thought about the funeral she attended the day before while getting ready to go to office. She suddenly felt cold; though the January zephyr has become much warmer.
Her son waved at her from the balcony. “Will you come early today to take me to the park?”
“Of course, I will.”

Many a times, she has learnt quite a few things observing her son. The greatest challenge for her has always been to be a mother and yet to be objective about him.

She thought of her colleagues who sometimes share how difficult they find to manage various roles they play in their lives – wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, mother, sister… the end-less list… and yet be working!
Lamentation of a ‘working’ woman!

She empathized with them and wondered if men are perplexed how to handle and manage their varied roles. Her husband never seemed to have mentioned any such complexities!
She could almost hear her ‘feminist’ colleague asking her, “But are men aware of their roles? I know now why ignorance is bliss!”
She giggled and looked around her cubicle. Her ‘feminist’ colleague is yet to come to office.
‘Working’ woman… a 20th century concept.
Were those women who existed before the 20th century not working? Tina wondered. Perhaps the awareness just dawned on women recently!
“Working women” – One of the ‘corporate wonders!’
‘Working’ men?... eh… No; not as charming…!
Now, stop being a cynic! She glanced through being conscious of her sarcastic smile.

She wondered, what does she work for?
For Any ‘thing’? Any ‘one’?
Has she asked this question to herself before?
Perhaps, she just heard it.
She didn’t know where the answer is.
Very uncomfortable – when you come to know what you don’t know.

She opened the cupboard to search for one of the files and a few sheets of paper fell down. Feedback forms dated 19th February 2007. Trainer’s guide V.1.1.

It is almost 4 years since she joined this company. She felt as if those days were a part of some distant past.
She felt glad realizing that she does not work for ‘anyone’ now; and that her passion and profession are the same – luckily!
She browsed through the trainer’s guide.
Her thoughts – 3 years before. A little amateurish!
It could have been designed differently. She noticed that she felt little defensive about her own oversights. She has grown, she realized. Perhaps years hence she may look at her work and feel the same!
She saw, heard and felt the Tina of those years. She saw a graph – growing. Endlessly.
She closed her eyes, and she knew what she did not know.
She knew that she was better Yesterday than The Day Before.
And, Today Better than Yesterday.
She saw herself Tomorrow.
She saw herself, somewhere in Future…
The graph merged with a distant horizon.

A scene*** appeared in front of her:
Master Kan: Quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand.
(Young Caine tries to do so and fails)
Master Kan: When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.

On her way back home, she hummed her favourite tune. She loves the resonance when she listens to herself with the helmet on her head.
Milestones on the way…
Traffic flowed like an unruly river.
She heard Yanni – Santorini****.
She saw the bright Sun far away, yet to touch the horizon.
Where is the Horizon?
Is there any?
She smiled.



Notes:
* A Montana motivational speaker, trainer, public leader, researcher and author.
** A renowned Carnatic vocalist.
*** A scene from Kung Fu a popular American TV series of 1970s
**** Yanni – A Greek pianist, keyboardist, and composer; Santorini is one of his popular compositions