July 24

Sometimes when there is so much to say and when many things are happening around you, you fail to write. You struggle to control your thoughts enough to record them! I am going through that ‘phenomenon’ now. I wanted to scribble a lot of things for quite some days that I ended up reading and thinking and failed to put my thoughts down.
I was going through many other blogs; I just love reading them.
Finally I thought I should write something… at least about my inability to write…

Feeling great early this morning because I gifted someone on his b’day. The day before yesterday, I gifted some one else; a couple of days before, I bought gifts for my baby for his b’day; a week before I gifted my brother-in-law….
This month, I have been giving gifts… a lot of people around whom I care for. It is nice.
The world around me is so beautiful…
I realize, I am unable to write.
I get back to thinking.

Matrix - Re-visited!

Sometimes it is very interesting to re-visit the places you have seen; to re-read the books you have read; to re-watch the movies you have watched….
For me, the entire mission turns out to be quite fruitful. I find new meaning, new twists and twirls, new philosophies…well, something new. It’s worth.

I was re-watching ‘The Matrix’ the other day and I was quite surprised at the dimensions that arose!

It made me think about the boundaries between fantasy and the real world and how boundaries can be permeable… (Instead of binding…)
The thought on boundaries made me think about the ‘false’, ‘unnecessary’, ‘binding’, ‘superficial’ and yet ‘powerful’ boundaries that we weave around us…(are we aware?)
The thought on boundaries make me think of ‘freedom’ and our false assumption of being bound all the time…

My favourite quote – Morpheus says, "You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind."
It makes me think how freeing your mind helps you attain…. (attain ‘what’ is irrelevant, because you can attain only one thing ultimately…)
Thinking about ‘Mind’ provokes further thoughts on how we can control our mind, if Matrix can control with several human minds…

Controlling mind reminds me of ‘Maya’ which Hindu scriptures talk about… the distinction between truth and fantasy… Matrix, the Maya… (Or Matrix, the Truth?)

Thoughts on ‘Truth’ lead to ‘meaning of one’s life’.
I ask, what do I exist for?
And, am I aware?
If not, how will I?

I am in deep thought… no more words…


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Thought Fragments

I remember the quotes about ‘Time’. Time – the Enigmatic. Time – a Riddle. Time – the Saviour. Time – the Omnipotent.

Past, the source of learning. The visual records stored in our brains. The flashback technique used in the movies.

Future, the opportunity to apply learning. Future – made of dreams and aspirations.

Present, the ‘here and now’. Present – beyond description.
Before I attempt to describe, they become a part of past. I fail to arrest my present moment. If I try to describe my future moment, I am no more in the present. I wonder, how to be in the present…! How to be in the ‘here and now’…this moment. This pursuit, this challenge, itself becomes my prime task.

Thought fragments hustle; I am not able to hold them with me. Before I think about my thought, they are gone.

Being a part of AB's EF

I am so thrilled to be a part of the EF. A kind of child-like pleasure! Wondering what on Earth is EF?
Well, then, I would say that you have not lived your life enough, if you are not a part of EF!
EF is the ‘Extended Family’ of Amitabh Bachchan. How did I become a part of it?
Just naturally. No efforts. You just need to read his posts and then, you have become a part of his EF!
The wonder is that everyone who reads the posts feels that AB speaks to him/her. And, you are here not to come up with literary masterpieces. You are here to get connected to people around you, by sharing your thoughts. And, AB has been highly successful in achieving that. Even if he has not been a Bollywood figure, I think, just with his ability to influence and inspire people with the way he shares his thoughts, he would have been able to get connected with his EF.
I just commented on one of his posts – just sharing with you…

Hi AB,

I realise, I don't know how to call you...! And, AB, to me is so unemotional - I know that I don't like to call you that way - I don't get any other option... :-(

It is the first time ever in my life that I am writing to a film actor. It is not about the profession, it is just that I have never felt an emotional connection with anyone in the film industry that has forced me to write to them.
But, YOU... what powerful use of language!

I am not sure if I have seen all your movies; I am not sure if I will be able to critically appreciate the characters that you played; I am also not sure if I admire all the characters that you have played so far...
Nonetheless, all that I know is that I just...LOVE you. For being so open. For all the warmth and love that you shower on your EF...

I thought I knew very little about you... But after reading your post, I think I know you... I know you well enough to connect to you instantly, to love you unconditionally...
Thanks for being YOU.

You don't know me. I don't know if we will ever meet... It is okay. There are no conditions... Just love you because you are such a beautiful human being!

Suma

Being a Singer

I can’t believe it myself!
It is almost 9 years since I stopped learning music and even singing. Forget about singing, I don't even hum a tune!
And now, after this pretty looooooong gap, I am learning music again! My parents, my husband, my in-laws, even my baby could not believe it!
Why? I can’t believe it myself!
Yes, now I sing, practise and listen to music.
I don’t know what stopped me from doing this for the past several years. Perhaps now is the time. As The Alchemist says, when you truly want to do something, and if you are passionate about it, the entire world conspires to make it happen for you…. Yes! I believe in the alchemist now!
My coach was mentioning something similar to me the other day – the difference among knowing, doing and being. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, ‘being’ rings in my ears all the time! I guess, it is a part of the evolution – the evolution in me.
I know and I become contented with the knowledge that I gained. I may do it sometime. If I am passionate, I do it more number of times. When I consistently do is when I become and BE. It becomes a part of my being.
I am sure that many of you would have read and reviewed and talked and discussed and argued and known enough about ‘being’.
I still would like to write about it because I feel what ‘being’ is. Now, for me, it is beyond description, therefore, beyond words.
People around me warn – that I should be consistent about my singing. The history should not repeat – what I did a decade ago.
Yes, I realise – now I should ‘be’ a singer; not just sing songs….
But the question is if I ‘realise’, is it ‘knowledge’ or ‘being’? (Sigh, sigh…)
It is a very long road to ‘being’!